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Enlarge cover. Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Open Preview See a Problem? Details if other :. Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book. But shortly after getting married, she realizes that her new life is missing one thing: friends. Taking matters into her own hands, Bertsche develops a plan: Meeting people everywhere from improv class to friend rental websites, she'll go on fifty-two friend-dates, one per week for a year, in hopes of meeting her new Best Friend Forever.
Get A Copy. Paperbacks. More Details Rachel Bertsche. Chicago, Illinois United States. Other Editions 9. Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please up. Lists with This Book. Community Reviews. Showing Average rating 3. Rating details. More filters. Sort order. Jun 16, Emma Sea rated it it was ok Shelves: auckland-library. The book left me cold. This is one of those 'turn-my-blog-into-a-best-seller' books. The author worked in publishing, and it's pretty clear she thought this project up as a stepping-stone to getting a book deal, rather than something she did out of genuine passion, which just happened to take off.
I thought I'd enjoy this from an ethnographic pov. The author is an NY private school, summer camp, sorority-ing kind of woman, and I am not. Sadly the novelty wore off pretty quickly, and I skimme The book left me cold. Sadly the novelty wore off pretty quickly, and I skimmed a lot of the book. What really got my goat was that Bertsche makes these gross generalisations that women want this out of friendship, and men want thatMwf for text married adult lonelys buddy different, thing. In the same book that she mentions a gay male BFF.
QED gay men are not men?? Apparently all women need:. They don't understand that, as women, we crave having someone validate our feelings. And then do it twice more. As I don't do GIFs please bring to mind a suitable mental picture of your own choice here. She's a grown women who, in all seriousness, states, "I want friends like the girls in The Babysitter's Clubthat kind of bond. Some of the aspects of Bertsche's project were fun to read about, in that they represent the social cues and rules of a very particular subculture.
A coworker and potential new friend texts her, " If you're not doing anything, come over for Guinness and oysterfest. I wasn't doing anything! I'd love to come over for Guinness and oysterfest.
But could I just say that? But clearly I'm not the kind of woman she'd want to be friends with. I'm completely OK with that View all 21 comments. Jul 12, Amy Bossy Bookworm rated it liked it Shelves: book-club. I strongly suspect the author was looking for a hook for a book idea more than she was desperately seeking a BFF. In her new old: college town city of Chicago she had not only her husband, mother, and extended family including cousins she was social with, but four work friends she ate lunch with "every day" and friends through her husband that they went out with every few weeks.
Thats not the lonely life, my friend. I hope. So I very much wanted a stronger read: plausible spin for this story's publication--and my reading it. Her most offputting argument for her need of a bff was that although she alarmingly ran every single little thing possible food choices, hair and style choices, pasttime choices, etc.
Spoiler alert: she's already going to brunch regularly with combinations of the many beloved friends and family members above, according to her. The interspersed studies and stats about friendship were jarring but ultimately skimmable.
Lots of negatives. And YET. Something about the various adventures she purposely goes on and her "say yes" attitude and its was extremely compelling. I really became invested in the search and the story and blew through this. The exploration of what make up a friendship and what affects compatibility was really fun. View all 4 comments. Dec 06, Rach rated it it was amazing Recommends it for: Everyone. Shelves: memoirnon-fictionfavoritesx-src-challengewinter.
It's official. Or one of them, that is.
If we lived in the same town. And if she knew who I was. And it's not only because I found Rachel's thoughts on friendship to be thoughtful and relevant, but that while reading her words, it felt like we would "click," that if we were sitting and having a conversation, on a girl-date or something, we wouldn't be lost for things to talk about.
W It's official. We seem to have quite a bit in common, not least of all our propensity to read EW cover to cover and our tv-watching obsessions.
On the slightly-less-positive side, I also tend to experience frenvy every once in a while, and have a tendency to story interrupt. Trust me, I'm working on that stuff. But putting aside the girl-crush I now have on Rachel, her book really resonated with me. More than just a how-to for finding friends, it's really all about how to be a kind, generous person, how to be a good friend to everyone from current BFFs to new acquaintances, and how to become closer to the people around you, enhancing the happiness level of all around.
I will gladly talk this book up to anyone, and have already made my mom buy it for the t Kindle she and my sisters and I share, because I feel it was that insightful to me.
I am far from a perfect friend. I like to think I am a good listener, but I am spectacularly bad at staying in touch with people and following up with how their lives are. It's not that I don't care: when I run into friends I haven't seen in a while I am genuinely pleased to see them, and when someone s me about getting together, I am happy to meet them wherever they'd like.
I just have a hard time being the one who reaches out, who suggests the girl-date. Maybe it's because I'm afraid they don't want to see me? I'm not too sure, but that's something I definitely want to improve on, and feel inspired to do after reading Rachel's book.
I want to be the kind of friend I would love to have, someone who calls or texts just to say hi, someone who is persistent about making sure we see each other every so often. I want to make sure my friends know that I value them, and if I have to leave my house more often, and watch less tv, and be busier than I might like to do it, I will.
Like Rachel, I had a time in my life where I felt really alone and friendless. I had just graduated from my small liberal arts college in central Pennsylvania and moved back home to the Seattle area, where I had grown up and most of my family still lived. I still had a few old friends that lived in the area, but to be honest, I was never that great at staying in touch with people, and the 4 years I had spent on either another coast or in another country had isolated me from the people I used to spend time with.
The people I had become close with during college were good friends, but most of them stayed on the east coast, with one lone friend, my closest, returning to her hometown of Denver. Add to that the fact that I was painfully shy around strangers, and you have a girl that spent most of her time either holed up at home with her parents, reading and watching tv, or tagging along after her old sisters.
I tried to get involved in activities, succeeded in making some friends through church, became closer with girls who had been merely acquaintances when I was in high school, but I never really felt like I belonged, like I was a unique person that other people would be interested in getting to know.
I slowly opened up to those around me, but I still felt like I was living on the fringes of groups, instead of really belonging anywhere. Obviously, I had massive self-esteem issues, and I'm sure that's something I'll struggle with all of my life. Then, suddenly, things changed. When I was about 26, I decided I was done feeling sorry for myself. If I didn't like my life, I was going to change it. I ed a photo sharing community called Flickr, and started a daily self-portrait project called About 4 months into my project, when I had made quite a few friends through the group, I decided it wasn't enough to have online friends commenting on my photos, I needed to make some friends that I could hang out with in real life.
I found a photography meet-up group that was based in Seattle and, after stalking the group's site for a few weeks, finally started going to a few events. Don't get me wrong: it's not like I was suddenly a confident, self-assured person. I was still nervous, and awkward, and barely made it through my first few meet-ups. I went to a small photostroll in May ofleaving right after. The next month, I went to a hang-out-and-chat event, where I met a lot of people, many of whom seemed to be good friends already, but were all open and friendly to newcomers.
What helped me along the most, though, was that I had something in common with these people: we all loved to take pictures. At different group events, I would gravitate to the people with whom I had the best connection, getting to know them better and becoming more comfortable around them, until one day, we were just hanging out, no official group meeting necessary.
There are some people with whom I have a very specific Friendaversary: we met on a specific day, and were instantly friends, right off the bat. But for most of the people I met through flickr, and the secondary friends I met through the first initial group, the day we actually became friends is kind of unclear, because it evolved so fluidly.
By September ofI definitely had new friends, even if they weren't at the call-anytime stage quite yet. I'd been to their houses, laughed uproariously with them, and shared in-jokes. I felt like I belonged. Much has changed in the 5 years since I had my friendship epiphany. I still love taking photos, though I don't take nearly as many as I did back then. I haven't been to a Mwf for text married adult lonelys buddy outing in several years, but I still maintain a few dozen friendships of varying degrees with people I initially met back them. Some of them have become my closest friends, the ones I know will support me no matter what.
This book has not only inspired me to be a better friend, and to generally friendlier to people around me, but has also changed the way I think about friendships in general. I always thought, "I should have one friend who is closer to me than anyone else, who can be The Person whenever I need someone for anything.
But what Rachel comes to realize, and what she made me realize as well, as there is never just one person who can be the be-all-end-all for you. It takes all kinds of friends to make a happy, full life, and you can have multiple "best friends" who fill different roles in your life.
I can't tell you now how this is going to change my life, because I'm not a psychic. What I can tell you is this: I plan on treasuring the friends I have, building our friendships with laughter and love. PS, I might have to track Rachel down. I'm not a stalker, don't worry. Or, at least I'm a harmless one, right?Mwf for text married adult lonelys buddy
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